When You Just Wanna Be A Gryffindor
by CriticallyHonestlyAcclaimed
Summary: She has the brains, he has the bravery. But when the sorting hat chooses her house, their separation is something no one can describe.
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N Please enjoy this. It's very loosely based off of me. Please don't hate lol xoxoxoxo)**

Victoria's POV

I walk to the Ravenclaw Common room with my long, flowing, luscious black hair trailing behind me like a long, velvety carpet. I wish I was beautiful, but I know I'm not. People always tell me that I look EXACTLY like Jennifer Lawrence, but better. I know they're lying. I know I'm ugly. I'm not attention seeking or anything, I just know I'm bad.

As I walk in to the room, I realize how dumb everyone is. Let me rephrase that, I realize how much smarter I am than them. I mean, I know that Ravenclaw is meant to be the "intelligent" house, but compared to me, everyone here is so ignorant. I have an IQ of 347+ by the way.

Harry walks up to me, and I raise an eyebrow inquisitively.

"Victoria?"

I roll my eyes, he loves me, it's obvious.

He gets down one on knee. "Will you marry me?"

I frown for a second. "Harry, I need to marry someone smart. You're not up to my standards."

"But I just transferred to Ravenclaw for you!"

"Listen, Harry. You're a very nice boy, and I'm sure you also have a very large penis. But regardless of the size of your genitals, I need to marry a smart man, and I'm afraid you don't make the cut. If you want, I can kiss you?"

"PLEASE!" He looks desperate. Why would he want to kiss someone as ugly and worthless as me? Probably just by my intelligence. He wants a dominant relationship, and I can see the intimidation of my intelligence in his eyes. My intelligence is dominating to him. I'm his Christian Grey without the sex toys.

"Very well." I lean down to him and wrap my leg around his back, swirling my tongue around his. Our saliva meets. His is wet, and tastes like pumpkin. I hate pumpkin. But I love pumpkin spice lattes. His mouth tastes like a bad version of Starbucks to me, ugh.

I pull myself away, and see Snape looking down at us above his nose.

"Mr Potter, Ms Jones."

Oh no. Snape's watching us. He saw the whole thing.

"Sir, I'm able to explain...unless...you want to join in..."

He raises an eyebrow for a second, considering it. "NO! HOW DARE YOU FUCKING KISS IN MY COMMON ROOM!"

"BUT THIS IS RAVENCLAW!"

"I KNOW THAT! I just transferred with Harry. Such an incompetent boy, it's a good laugh if I do say so myself..."

"But-"

"Victoria, I know you are the most intelligent person in this school, but that's no excuse for your disgusting behaviour."

"Professor?" I see him pull out a belt, and Harry runs off. I'm frightened of what's to come...

"I'm afraid I'll have to punish you for your actions. Despicable human." He begins to beat me with his belt. The worst part is, it's not even sexual, just painful. I can feel the belt whipping my behind with a horrifyingly excruciatingly painful tenderness. There will definitely be bruising.

As he smirks and leaves me to die, I'm left silently sobbing in the corner, the injuries he has inflicted upon me have left me in tears. No amount of intelligence can overcome abuse. The blood is streaming from my arms and legs, bruises forming in utter pain, I'm choking on pain itself, it's so bad. I need a doctor, or I will surely die.

"Help." I whimper to myself. From the corner of my eye, I see Cho Chang walking over to me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" I say, wiping away a black tear. The thing is, my intelligence has caused my tears to turn black (A/N Google it Lol xoxoxoxoxo)

But as I crawl towards the door to go get help, blood trailing behind me, I look at the door. No...Not Him...

"GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM ROMANIA BITCHES?!" He roars, echoing the room.

...It's Ron.


	2. Chapter 2

Ron walked in, showering the Ravenclaws with his sense of condescension. What a fool.

"Ron." I gasp for air, my injuries making it difficult to breathe. "Please. Help!" He scoops me up into his strong, majestic arms. I can feel his muscles pressing into my skin. He curls his head around my neck like he's tying a knot.

"Why are you bleeding?"

"It's a long story..."

"Is is you time or something?"

I glare at him, and pull away from his grip. "I'm not on my period, Ron." tears flow from my eyes like sobbing rain. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT ME!" I run away from him. He's very...very mean.

I run into the medical room, and Madame Promfrey sees me. Her eyes widen. "What happened to you?!" she shouts.

I sob. "It was Snape. He beat me with his belt."

"That's alright, dear. He does that from time to time."

"Oh, ok." The nurse heals me and I stumble back to my room. A deep depression hits me once I'm inside. I realize that because I'm so smart, I probably have some sort of disorder. Nobody loves me, nobody ever will. I'm ugly and worthless.

"HARRY!" I shout. He comes up to my room and sits down next to me. "What is it darling?" he says.

"I need you right now."

"Oh, ok."

And during that we did it fast and we did it hard. His do-da was nice and hard inside of me, and I wished it could go further, but I know with the genitals I have, that could never happen. I don't really love him. I just need the endorphins. People like to say I'm a slut, but I know I'm not. I have a lot of sex (because that's what guys ask me for), but that doesn't really make me a slut.

Our skin presses the sweat together and we breathe heavily. As he pulls out, I can see his do-da is soft, and kind of floppy.

"Harry?"

"No! It's not like that, I promise, Victoria!"

"I can't believe you don't love me!" I burst into tears. It's as if I'll never stop crying.

"But Victoria! Of course I love you, it's just!"

"NO! JUST STOP!"

He looks towards the floor and back at me, seeing the tears flow from my large, soft grey eyes. "What's wrong?" he asks. I slap him. "YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG! DON'T PLAY INNOCENT!"

But then he hits me and pins me to the wall. "You do NOT talk to me that way! I am your master. You will LOVE me!" his voice is hard, like Christian Grey. I can see our teacher walking in the room. He sees us both naked.

"Robert?" I say. (I'm allowed to call teachers by their first names, because we're best friends.)

Harry looks up at him. "Mr Downey?"

"That's Jr to you, Harry." he says, ripping off his clothing. As he pulls down his boxer briefs, his do-da springs free into an erection. I giggle.

"No!" says Harry. "Victoria's mine. If you don't leave, I'll report you to Hogwarts for sexual harassment!"

"Very well." he says, leaving the room.

"But sir, you left your clothes-" I begin, but Harry slaps a hand over my beautiful mouth, and pulls off my bra to reveal my E cups.

"It's ok, VIctoria. He's too old for us, we're only 12."

"Oh, Harry..." I begin, moaning like Nearly Headless Nick. A ghost.

"Victoria, will you marry me?" he says, moving closer to me from the couch.

I giggle. "Yes." He gives me a diamond ring. "Here, Vicky."

"What. The. Fuck." I turn towards the door and gasp. It's Flitwick.

"Professor, It's not what you think!"

"Don't be ridiculous." he squeaks. "I want in."


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N OMG Guys, come on, lol. A ton of you messaged me and asked me to make this story and now, like, no one's reviewing it. I tried my best to base it on my life [really loosely, lol] and it is, like, a little exaggerated, but only a little. I want to see some effing reviews lol. Come on, please just effing review it lol omg OKKKKKKK! lol jk love you all omg lol ok xoxoxoxoxo)

"Professor, get away!" I shouted, covering my e-cups as best as I could.

"No, professor Flitwick, you cannot join in." said Harry's quivering voice as he covered me protectively. After all, I was now his snuggle bunny. Even though I still didn't love him, he wanted me more than ever.

"Very well." said Flitwick, pulling out his wand with a malicious grin. "Wimgaurdiam leviosa!" he shouted, pointing the wand. Harry's do-da began rising into the air, pulling him with it. At this point in time, Harry's do-da had pulled him far above Flitwick and I. Flitwick and I giggled, but I had to supress my laughter underneath my eternal pain and sorrow from my torturous life.

"HARRY!" I shouted, pulling him back to earth ground. We quickly stood up and began running for our lives. Flitwick began to chase us down the corridors, his evil giggle following us and echoing off of the steel walls.

"I'm going to catch you!" he cackled playfully, his squeaky voice beginning to make blood come from Harry's ears.

"Harry, they're blood coming from your ears!" I shouted. But he knew.

"I know." he replied.

At this point, Flitwick was completely chasing us.

"I'm chasing you!" he shouted at us. But this wouldn't be the end, it would never end.

We ran all the way into potions room we were so nervous, but we found ourselves looking across a crowd of students, everyone was staring at my breasts. The boys then began to cheer at them in a large applause.

"HARRY, VICTORIA, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Shouted Snape. "IF YOU DO NOT, I WILL HAVE TO PULL OUT MY BELT ONCE MORE!"

I scream in terror and run away, sobbing back into my room. As I put my clothes back on, I look at my beautiful face in my vanity mirror. I'm hideous. Why would harry want me aside from my e-cups? The world may never know.

I see Draco come up the stairs, followed by a nude Harry. "Victoria, what are you doing here?" Draco asked.

"This is my dorm." I reply, sobbing.

"VICTORIA, YOU'RE A BITCH!" shouts the nude Harry, punching me onto the floor. I'm crying under his dominance. It'll be BDSM before I know it, minus the consent.

Draco punched him in the face. "LEAVE MY DARLING ALONE!" he shouted, the nude Harry returned the punch. And before I knew it, they were fighting. I shut my eyes, scarred for life knowing that two men were now fighting over me. But I suddenly say Draco grope Harry's do-da and attempt to pull it off.

The sight is so scary to me that I begin sobbing and run downstairs.

"Robert!" I shout. "Mr Downey?"

And Professor Downey Jr comes up to me. "What's the matter, my dear Victoria?"

"Harry and Draco are fighting over me again..."

"Don't worry dear, I'll protect you from those rabid beasts." He says, cradling me into his arms.

But suddenly, his eyes go bright red. "I don't actually love you Victoria," he whispered into me face. "I'm really a vampire. And I'm going to rip your throat out." he whispers seductively, opening his mouth, about to pierce his fangs into my slender neck.

"GET OFF OF HER!" I hear a voice shout, pushing me out of his arms and into the stone wall. I look past blurred vision up to see the sexy, soulless fucker who had just saved me. It was...Ron.


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N OMG to that hater in the comments that basically called my writing terrible, you're wrong. this story is great and I put ALL of my hard work into it so lol and lol if you comment another review in a response to me, LOL I'll find out that you're still reading it. LOL OMG STOP HATING! Ok, lol hope you guys love the story OK lol thanks guys for all the support it means a lot to me lol ok thanks guys omg lol lol lol xoxoxoxoxoxo kay)**

I stare into Ron's eyes as he stares into mine. I can tell he's in love with me, they all fall in love with me eventually. Actually...that's a lie. No one falls in love with me because of my tragic past.

But suddenly, he scoops me up into his majestic ripped arms. I bet I'm heavy. I mean, people say I'm skinny all the time but I don't believe them. I know I only weigh about 62.7 pounds, but I just feel huge.

"You're so light, Victoria." He says, before placing his lips onto mine. It begins as a gentle kiss, but the intensity quickens with pace. Before I know it, he's practically swallowing my face in the middle of our snog-session.

I look down and see something sticking out from his trousers. Oh no. He really _has _fallen in love with me. It looks incredibly large. He reaches into his trousers, and pulls out his wand. Oh, I understand. His wand was the bulge.

He mutters a spell in the middle of it all. That spell happened to be none other than **_Garment Evaporates. _**It's basically a spell that instantly removes our clothing.

And we're doing it. His ding-dong enters me and I screech with joy. But I can't handle the intensity. It's too much for my fragile body. All too much...

Our violent lovemaking is suddenly interrupted by loud screams, emitting from all around us. At first, I think it's because we're doing it in a public part of school, however as I glance away from Ron, I see it. The horror.

People have the best reason for screaming that they've had in years, the images that I'm witnessing will never be able to leave my head. Disgusting, disturbing, nightmare-inducing...

I knew Ron's wand still looked a little strange. It was still broken in the centre of the wood, taped back together with cheap wizarding tape. McGonagall had been telling him to get it replaced for years, but he'd always refused. Now, Ron's broken wand has had it's consequences.

Because of his wand, his spells have always has complications. Especially in class. Usually it was something small, like instead of turning a feather into a bottle of ink, he simply ended up with an ink soaked feather. But now, his wand has created serious complications.

When Ron recited the spell for _**Garment Evaporates, **_not only did it evaporate our clothes away, it just happened to evaporate the clothes of everyone in the school...

**(A/N OMG lol guys lol sorry this was so short, but I'm on a cruise to Paris right now, so I don't have time to make a full one :( lol sorry again lol lol xoxox k bye)**


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